The Many Moods of Vince Daniels

As much as I can be a ham behind a microphone, I had no idea what to say in front of 30 people last Saturday night when it came time to do a champagne toast for my parents on the occasion of their 50th wedding anniversary. Earlier I decided to make a gift bag for everyone who attended. Inside was a C.D. of something I had unearthed 10 years ago that was buried amongst my Mom and Dad's personal effects when I was helping them move out of their old house.

With my glass raised, I explained to everybody that along with the C.D. was a rolled-up piece of gold parchment paper (wrapped with a bow) that explained what was on the recording, which is an emotional half hour talk on Marriage that they once gave. My parents were genuinely surprised and confessed that the only time they remembered the talk was when they first gave it 35 years ago. My brothers had no memory of it.  I then closed by saying "please consider the words on the gold parchment, to be my real toast." Here is what I wrote:

On behalf of my brothers John, Joe, Jeff and Jerry, I appreciate you taking part in this celebration of 50 years of matrimony for our Father and Mother, Jim and Fran Dunlap.

Enclosed is a trip into a way-back machine of sorts, to January 12, 1974. At that time my parents were 15 years into their marriage and were asked to give a talk on that topic for a high school and college-age Catholic retreat program called THE SEARCH.

Five weeks of preparation went into this talk. They were nervous of course, and even up to two days prior to the presentation they didn't know how to format it. Then the night before, my Dad was given an inspiration that changed everything.

Using his literary talents coupled with his love of fairy tales, he and my Mom ended up crafting a presentation that defined their marriage as "the constant struggle of two people trying to separate reality from the illusion." My father delivered the fairy tale, while my mother spoke of the real pain and struggles.

They were age 33 and 34 when they shared this testimony to the backdrop of innocent laughter in an innocent time. Their tale begins back in the latter part of 1957 when the two met at a dime store where they both worked. It continues into a September morning in 1958 when they were married, 10 months after they met. It culminates in the early 70's with a true conversion experience.   Along the way you'll hear a lot of Dunlap family history. You'll also be reminded that as husband & wife, and as parents, they did the best they could with what they had. When they found Christ however, they did it even better.

In my opinion there is no more of a fitting tribute to Jim and Fran's 50 long years together, than to share this great memory with you.   -Jim Jr.

Fairy Tale - A Marriage Talk (1/12/74)
©copyright 1974,1998 James Dunlap. All rights reserved.

Download This Talk

A MEMORABLE EVENING

By Vince Daniels September 24, 2008

Toward the end of an almost 4 hour evening, after I had thanked everyone for coming, I turned things over to my Father who wanted to say a few words. It was my hope that he would add an official sounding "toast" which, up to that point, I was only able to type up and include in gift bags that I left for everyone at the back table.

With champagne glass in hand, my Dad asked a serious question of his family and friends. "Do you want to know the reason why Fran and I have stayed together for 50 years?" He then looked around the room. " I want everyone to look at the person sitting next to you, across from you and at the next table. Go ahead, just look around. The reason we've stayed together for 50 years, is all of you. You've made a commitment to us. In doing so, the two of us have stayed commited to you and to each other." These words were not only greeted with cheers, but with heartfelt applause to a sentiment that seemed to sum up an evening that was in the planning stages for more than a year.

On my website and on The Vince Daniels Show, I play the part of Vince Daniels. Off the air, I'm Jim Dunlap, Jr., the firstborn to James and Frances Dunlap, who in just a few days, will be together for 50 years of matrimony. On September 20th, 2008 myself and my four brothers put together a celebration for them at the Buca di Beppo Italian Restaurant in Anaheim over by Disneyland.

I told my parents that the party started at 7:30 but told everyone else to get there around 7. Things came off as if right on cue. One couple, Gloria and Red Jacobson, couldn't wait for this evening. They were the first to arrive at 6:30. Not long after, Bob and Bev Cielnecky arrived. Gloria, the Cielnecky's and my mother started together in the Pro-Life movement going back to the early 1970's. When my Mom and Dad arrived on time with my 94 year old Grandmother, needless to say they were disquieted and humbled when they looked around at two long tables and saw all the people that came to honor them.

In the week leading up to the event, I wanted to put together a montage of pictures on poster size canvas. I decided to keep it simple and focus on that day, September 27, 1958 when my parents made a contract with each other, till death do us part. I was touched by how many customers of the restaurant stopped to stare at the assortment of pictures. Perhaps it made them think of a time of innocence. All week long I looked at pictures I had never really looked at before. It made me see how happy and very young they were, yet how scared they were too. I really felt like that day in history needed to put on display, not only for my family members and friends, but for the rest of the world to see too.

It was an evening filled with laughs, Spaghetti, Calamari, Mozzarella Garlic Bread. Margherita Pizza, Chicken with Lemon, Lasagna, Broccoli Romano, Garlic Mashed Potatos and Berry flavored Gelato. I had a good feeling about the evening when 2 hours prior, I picked up the cake at the bakery and a customer commented on how beautiful it looked. It tasted good too! It was White cake with Bavarian Cream filling and fresh Bananas.

The staff at Buca di Beppo were very nice and helpful, from conception (thanks to Mary) to completion thanks to our hostess, Diedre. Two times I leaned back and ended up with cake icing on the back of my sports jacket and pants. Diedre went out of her way to wipe it off, some even noticed, really took her time and seemed to be enjoying it.

Other guests included longtime Church friends, the Mueller family. Significant others were there too, including Harvey and Shirley, two new members of our extended family. My parents of course were happy to be surrounded by their Grandchildren; and the cousins were happy to see each other.

What would a party like this be if there were not some politics mixed in, especially during a campaign season? My brother Joe certainly kept some arguments going. Special thanks to my brother Jerry for helping me pick all the right foods for the festivities; and to all my brothers and everyone for that matter for making the evening, a memorable one.